Starting a "Blog"? How to be successful:

Ha. Like I really know.

Starting a blog is such an awkward thing. You can't really just jump right into it.

FIRST (after figuring out how to set it up....at least far enough for you to actually post your blogs, which I think I have done) you have to decide what kind of blog you want: serious, humorous, cynical, one chronicling your life events and daily thoughts, a social commentary on what's happening around the world, etc. (i see this one as being slightly cynical, self deprecating, hopefully sometimes humorous, but also a little serious at times, but definitely not boring......ok.....probably a little bit. but I'll try to keep it at a minimum.)

NEXT you have to make it known in your FIRST blog what your intent is. Your mission. Your goal. How you are going to (single-handedly, of course) change the world with your blog. (which, at the moment, i have no idea what that is. no. thats a lie. i do have the goal of becoming a better and *slightly* more creative writer.....though i'm still set in the old-fashion ways of thinking that in order to be a successful writer you must use a pen and paper, and that blogging on the internet is NOT going to make me a better writer.....but we are in the 21st century now, so what the hey, right?)

THEN you have to talk about yourself (because what's the point of blogging if you don't tell, nay, SHOW everybody just how awesomely-rad you are? Right?) Also, who wants to read a blog about someone nobody knows about? BOOOORRRIIIIINNNGGG. (i think I'll wait on this section though. i don't want to dilute my awesome-ness by making it share with my first post on the What, Where, Why's of my first blog. my awesome-ness deserves its OWN blog. yeah. i said it.)

FINALLY you need to get a cult following (the number of people reading your blog directly correlates with how cool/awesome/popular you are....and the reason you have a blog is so that other people can also comment you how cool/awesome/popular you are......even though you already knew that) My problem is that since I am so deeply ashamed that I'm actually succumbing to the ways of blogging, I am going to vehemently deny, deny, deny having one....which will result in finding it difficult to create a following. (catch-22, eh?)

All that being said, where do I start now? Generally the beginning is a good idea. But, being as that was a loooong time ago and would take too much time (as well as be slightly boring for most).....I won't start there.

Another good place to start (I think, anyway) is with the question "Why?"......so maybe I'll start with that:

Why have I decided to jumped on the blogging bandwagon?
Answer: I've been putting it off thinking I was too good for such a narcissistic waste of time. I mean, really, 1) I already know how awesome I am, why do I have to blog about it and make other people tell me as well? 2) I have a life. Blogging is for the pathetic loser with no job who just sits on the couch all day with nothing to do but play around on the internet checking facebook every 10 minutes to see if anybody has posted anything new on my wall yet (which they haven't). And 3) being that I have a life, I am much too busy doing things to blog about them.

Then I thought about it and realized.....what am I thinking?! I don't have a life. Or a job (at the moment, anyway). As much as I actually do go out and do stuff, I also spend a lot of time sitting on the couch (or at the table) checking my facebook every 10 minutes to see if anyone has posted anything new on my wall (which, generally, they haven't). And as for not needing people to tell me how awesome I am.....uhh....hello!? Who doesn't like being told by everybody how awesome they are (no matter how much they already know that as a fact)?! Nobody, thats who!

So.....that brings us to here. With me. Starting a blog. So. What the hell. All the cool kids are doing it, right? We'll see where it goes.



....now if only I could figure out how this thing works.....